Devika

For World Problems - My Views,My Opinions and My Solutions
Public



Hello Everyone! If you are my Facebook Friend, Follower, and Fan. If you aren't following me on  www.facebook.com/rgrprt

 you are missing out on my utmost important passion project. 

When we see a book - we judge it by its cover. I really wanted to bring to your attention that the sweat, blood, and toil which goes through writing a book can only be understood by a writer. Just like when we watch 2 hours or 3 hours of movie we do not see hundreds and thousands men hours it took to be made. 

After being a Writer Since 2012 - they say it is solitary work and really meeting the Writer's Community in 2015. 

After writing 2 books and still only having the courage to say I am a bonafide "Writer" and an Upcoming Author...just about!

As I could just stick it on Amazon but I like to do things the traditional way! and break some rules in the process.

As all Good Things come from America...Even Trump My Friend from America told me to do https://nanowrimo.org/


 and that's how I found people with ideas.

As you might already know I love to challenge myself every November- a gigantic task of writing 50,000 words in 30 days. 

It is called the Nanowrimo Competition. It is very popular among the writer's community. If you also want to join please go to 

https://nanowrimo.org/


You can Buddy Up with me https://nanowrimo.org/participants/bookwriter4u


I have also made a Writer's Group from Stretham South London where I will be specifically sharing my writing journey. Daily Inspiration, perhaps Word Count, etc.

https://nanowrimo.org/writing-groups/streatham-south-london


I am not naming things but another place I am really fond of Isle of Wright and a Radio Station has helped me to name a Character - a really important one.

I am really fond of Streatham as it is my little village for Globalists like me. Ask me away questions about it or catch us at local Write Together Meetups. 

Amazing Streatham Free Film Festival, Streatham Food Festival, Streatham Big Little Peace Event, etc. 

I also like its proximity to Brixton with David Bowie and such. 

I used to conduct a FREE Write Together Meetup Group where the format was to write for 2 hours and spend the last half an hour or 45 minutes asking questions. 

Due to the 2nd lockdown COVID, we had to stop, unfortunately. Watch out for this space!

https://www.meetup.com/WriteTogether/events/kkmvwrybcpbgc/


To find local Writ Together Meetup Events if you are not near Streatham. Please check it out! and there will be one near you. https://www.meetup.com/WriteTogether/


Thus my journey from being a Writer to an Author has begun. After being last year in 2019 to agents events...They are in London but they are in Secret Places and definitely have Secret Handshake  

which I need to master and lots of events to hone my craft as a Writer.

I am lucky enough to also have been able to get a Membership in the Romantic Novelists Association which is also another Community I am very fond of. 

It was a Dream Come True for me despite COVID-19 I had a Virtual Conference with Mills and Boons. From my dear avid Mills and Boons

friend reader with whom I had email correspondence. She had seen the potential that my ideas and stories were of jet-setting young female protagonists. ( I am still wondering how I ended up taking such a gigantic work. ) Not that my style of writing would ever fit in their criteria are willing to change some of the Rules of their books. 

A recent shout-out on Twitter has definitely made me really happy and it is an Achievement.  

To my Future Reader and Review, you perhaps might think it is completely shite and confusing! They are not grammatically correct.

I test your patience and you have no place for a puzzle. 

I am just a girl who is trying to tell A Story. 

If a picture was worth thousands of words. It hides them.

I have seen thousands of pictures to put them in hundreds of words. 

I planned to write 1 book and now it is 4. As I write one book, edit one and do a million other things! I don't want to disappoint. 

If a picture was worth thousands of words. It hides them. Author ( Hard Way - Long Way - Difficult Way!) Who knows? You might be inspired to write your story!

Image result for coronavirus uk


After being criticized for a slow response to SARS, China is once again facing global scrutiny for its handling of the new coronavirus.

By the time the global SARS outbreak was contained, the virus spread to over 8,000 people worldwide and killed almost 800.

The new coronavirus, SARS-CoV-2, which causes the disease COVID-19, has already surpassed the 2003 SARS outbreak.



When the whole world had gone into lockdown, the UK decided to do a herd immunity strategy.

The UK was criticized by the world over and how risky that Strategy was. No doubt about it.

Even the Chinese Experts were not happy with how the UK was dealing with the situation. What people do not realize is that there are some Cultural Issues that make the UK a completely different nation.


Let's Compare it with Other Countries in the world


Image result for Self Isolation

1. Self-imposed Self Isolation: When every day in this country people behave like other people walking around as if it is 28 Days Later or Walking Dead. In the UK, most people are already living in Isolation. People usually do not talk to each other rather freely, they do not wish anyone "Good Day" or " Have a nice day!" or do not stand and loiter like some people from Asians Countries. Some more liberal countries like Brazil or France would be kissing on the cheeks whereas in the UK people do not. It happens but it isn't a common greeting.


It is very common when one person is on one side of the road and when they see another they would move away on the other side of the road.


People in the UK wouldn't die more with Coronavirus but definitely due to Boredom, Mental Health, and Isolation.



Image result for Civic sense

2. Civic Sense: I hate to say this but in some countries, people would spit on the road, and throw things on the road, Toilets are hard to find or if any they are dirty.


Even without Corona Virus Cafes and Restaurants are expected to clean it every 2 hours or at least check them. This has increased to every hour plus cleaning of handles, gates and surfaces.


Even per capita, the UK has more toilets than some of these big Asian Countries like India and China.


It is UK law that if you are serving food you should have Toilet facilities. In the London UK also have cases of people pissing on the road and they have night toilets for these drunk people.


Most people in the UK are very Self-responsible and Independent.


3. Gradual Shutdown v/s Severe Shutdown: The UK went to a gradual shutdown rather than a severe lockdown immediately. Some might argue it might be too late.


1) The UK asked people not to go to Hospitals and GP Services - This helped them not to overwhelm their NHS hospitals and systems.

2) Medical Professionals and Boris Johnson ask people to do hand washing and sing Happy Birthday!

3) The government asked Older People above 70 to stay at home, Diabetic and Asthma Patients.

4) The government asked Sporting Events to be Open as they were going for herd immunity.

5) The government asked people to Work From Home if you can do your work from home.

6) The government next asked people not to go to the Pub, Restaurants, and Gyms. Wetherspoons was open. The Herd Immunity strategy was discontinued because cases were high in numbers.

7) The cinema closes on its own

8) The government only closed schools on 20/03/2020.

9) Supermarkets advise people to only buy 3 items of the same thing thus stopping panic buying.

10) The UK can turn it around in 12 weeks.

11) The government officially asked on 20/03/2020 for the following to stop working.

-Food & drink venues

-Pubs, bars and clubs

-Cinemas, theatres, concert and bingo halls

-Spas, indoor leisure and gyms

-Casinos & betting shops

-Museums & galleries

12) Supermarkets have open hours for the elderly and vulnerable in the morning.

13) The UK is going to now further lockdown.



Criticism 1: Sporting Events being not cancelled: All Men in the UK love their Football and also are very passionate about their Football Clubs. The government didn't want to anger that segment.

BUT

In the UK all big events were being cancelled even before the Government officials had asked to cancel. No Football match was left to see.




Criticism 2: Old people at Pubs and Wetherspoons: Old people who didn't have anywhere to go in their day-to-day life still went to Wetherspoons. Maybe some people in their 40s and 50s still went out but might be looking old because of their drinking habits.


Image result for uk school closures

Criticism 3: Why are Schools closed so late? 

Many people criticized why schools were closed so late when offices were asked to close and GP services were working minimum.

Schools that had coronavirus had already shut down their school.

Many Teenagers weren't sure whether to study or not and became confused and didn't want to take their exams. This has been sorted by exams being cancelled.


Number 1 reason is that Childcare in the UK is very much dependent on the outsider. In countries like China and India, some might have grandparents' support or even neighbour's support. Childcare is solely dependent on outsiders like Nanny, Aupair, Childminder, Babysitter, Nursery or School.

I also believe that there would be more deaths of husband, wife, and children if they were to spend lots of time together and also have stressed to earn money.


Number 2  In some countries like China where we hear that children are left on their own while parents work. This would have been completely not done in the UK where child abuse is treated extremely seriously. Where little bit of problem is reported by Childline.


Number 3 Some of the parents were working on very special jobs like in Hospital, Education and Police. Today when schools are closed they are on the basis where parents working in those sorts of jobs their children would be still sent to school so that their parents can work and help the country.


Number 4 UK is a highly ambitious and economically driven Country. People are measured on their ability to make money. Where women are asked to work or at least feel pressured to make money as soon as they have given birth. Where Maternity Leave has increased in my generation. There is absolutely no value given to Stay at Home or Work At Home Mums.


Number 5 Taking care of children is a thankless job in the UK. It is very hard to cope in the UK as there are only parents taking care of them. There is no monetary value in raising your child. Men do not feel that they should be providing for their Wives and Kids. People have only recently started being ok with taking a little break and taking care of their children because they have got some support from the Government. How people would pay their rent and bills is being sorted especially by Rishi Sunak currently as I write this TV is buzzing with all the people wanting to acquire Benefits and Salaries.


I believe that school has been opened until they can and are being closed on the right day.

Now it is to see how long people can work at home with their kids without killing each other.



Image result for UK border

Criticism 4: UK Border had no extra checking like India.

As before the UK already have extremely strict Border Control. They already have that in a place where in the UK people come it is paperless. There is a chip on the passport - it has your photo and biometrics. Also, the amount of people coming to India is any day larger than coming to the UK.


As far as I see the UK is always in Self Quarantine all the time! 

What good has happened is that people have started Volunteering and Offering help to each other.


The biggest question is Do I agree with it all?


I actually for one think that all the Global World Leaders are doing their best. 

The less we criticize better it is. Let people get on doing the right things and keep an eye on the BIG Picture! 


Appreciate what we had when people in Wuhan or even Beijing were questioning whether they were going to be alive. We were busy thinking about where are we going for a Holiday.


"How to know if a relationship is just a Fling?"




This is a question that was asked to me when I was in a restaurant with other 3 Women and we were just discussing relationships.  This question has come again to me.

Their question was even harder then they wanted to know how can we know even before having sex? As these women didn't want to be a disappointing morning after sex.


I am going to write this article Before having Sex and After Sex.

If sex or your virginity is important to you.

Before Having Sex: 

1. Where are you? : Are you in a Club dancing, Summer Holiday, Christmas Office Party, Nude Beach, University Campus, etc. Are you meeting someone on Tinder? ;-) Where you meet someone is important as there are places where having sex or being touchy-feely is sort of permitted or expected? Where booze and alcohol are flowing and it is just natural for people to have casual sex or get flirty.

2. Is it just hugely Physical? Intellectual? Personality?: They are coming on really strong physically and they basically would hit whatever moves. Or Whether they are genuinely interested. Do they have roaming eyes for others in the room when you are away? All they are interested to talk about their or your physical attributes.

3. Are you attracted to them enough?: Why are you there? Are you there because you are lonely or had nothing to do on Saturday night and you tagged along with your friends. Your person of interest are you interested in them? Would you be attracted to them in different circumstances like less drunk, less lonely or desperate? Are you attracted to them in how they look, how they talk, how they dress,etc? or their personality, their abilities, and their dreams.

4. Prolong your relationship:  If you are meeting online or in-person - Is your talk more about sex and very focussed on telling you how many times they masturbate or they are really naughty who needs whipping? If you were a booty call and you weren't satisfying them they would probably look for somebody. You might come across as a "tease" but better safe than sorry.

5. Can you say "No"?: Nothing is sometimes more attractive than saying NO. Would they be ok just hand-holding and just giving you a hug or a kiss. If you aren't feeling it and if you got up while having sex would they be ok. Are you feeling pressurized or able to tell them how it is?

6. Do you trust them enough to know they are clean? :  It would be impossible to know whether they have any disease but are you both ok to have sex with condoms. Your health is important and it would be impossible to know whether someone doesn't have any disease unless they bought their HIV negative Certificate. Do bring it up as a joke or humor and see how they react.

7. Is this the person with whom you don't mind losing your virginity or having sex? : This is the most important million dollar question.  Risk is- It can still all be a big drama for someone to get inside your pants or even if you had a short term relationship once you had sex your situationship is over. What do you do? You can do nothing but you needed to ask this question that is the person with whom you don't mind losing your virginity or having sex and remembering just like that.



After having Sex 

Some Men and Women find it useful to know that they are sexually compatible. To have sex in a relationship or even start with strong sex-focused doesn't always mean it is a fling. Because fling can sometimes turn into a relationship. Some of these answers are the same as Before having Sex.


1. Are they attracted to you enough? : Do they just see you as a  dead - meat or they are genuinely concerned about you? Are they attracted to you in different ways? Physically, Mentally, Spiritually and Intellectually.

2. How do you both communicate:  Do they ghost you or breadcrumb you? Or you do the same thing?
Or you talk to him when you are bored and lonely? You are talking to lots of different other suitors?
Is this person for you an option or "the one"? Do you both talk about the good, bad and worse? Are you both vulnerable open and honest?

3. Are they available?: This one is common sense! but sometimes so lost. People are sometimes in a relationship with a person- when they have a mistress... and mistress can be wife, partner, career, work or money, emotionally unavailable person, etc. To be in a relationship involves a person to have an open heart and time availability.

4. Do they respect you?: Are they honest enough to tell you how they feel? Do they respect you and cherish your company rather than complaining? They are sort of proud of who you are.

5. Are you in a relationship like you want? :  In this modern world, a relationship can take many different shapes? Some are with benefits ;-). Some are rebound. Some are long-distance, Some are based on sex, Some are based on money, Some are just something on side, etc. Do you both like the shape your relationship taking place? Do you spend enough time with each other? Are you always complaining about what can't be changed?

6. Do you both have the same values?: Are you Republican and he is Democratic? He is Soccer Fan and you are Baseball Fan? Do you like Marmite or Peanut Jelly Butter? You get my drift....
Can you tolerate those differences? You don't have to be what they are but can you both agree to disagree.

The next one is very important for a successful relationship.

7. Do they inspire you and support your dreams?: Life is a journey in which you can go alone faster but when you are getting a company you are planning to go further. You are looking for a partner who is as chuffed as you are for all the things you do, want to do or achieve. When you have a conversation of your dreams they aren't there always there to bust your bubble but to help you to achieve those dreams along with you.

BONUS

8. Do you see the future with them?: I am not talking about on the first date you want to have someone's million kids or get married. But marriage and kids sort of conversation just happens naturally and without anyone being scared. It should never be problematic thinking of  " What kind of Car or House they would like ?","What kind of wedding you would like?"," Whether someone would be good as a Father or Mother, etc?"





1. Know or Judge what other person needs : One of the key thing to look at one doesn't come needy and clingy in the initial phrase is to be aware of how much you and your potential partner want to spend time together. That means to have some sort of conversation directly or gradually observing your other half.
Different people are different in terms of how much time they want to spend time together. It depends also lot on knowing where your relationship might be heading. Are you just casual friend whom you are happy seeing once every 3 months? Are you more of girlfriend and boyfriend who would like to spend time together initially more to get to know each other? 

2. Know that your relationship would go changes :  Relationship can be like waves. Somebody would need more emotional support when they had bad day at work, somebody died, got laid off, etc. While some people would like to spend more time when crisis hit. Some would rather spent time alone. Relationship in the beginning can be like every waking moment I want to be with you to ok we have some trust and we are ok being bit separate. Always see what other people want and listen to their needs.

3. Have a hobby, friends and life without that person :  It is very easy not to put someone on pedestal if you have hit right off and especially when we think that this person might be the One. Have a life without that person. Go for dinner or lunches alone or even in Cinema. Yes alone. It might be boring but enjoying your own company is crucial. If you can't bear your ownself how would other do. Also have different people in your life like friends, mentors , therapists, coaches and parents. Avoid one person to be everything of you. As you would be highly disappointed when you realise they aren't that great. It would also be very exhausting for them to be all of the people you need. 

4. Do not expect instant gratification :  People are busy despite it hardly takes few minutes to answer a text. Some people find it very difficult to write few things and sometimes do get paralysed while communicating on apps, twitter or facebook. Wait for sufficient time before communicating again. Have a maximum number before you contact them. 

5. They aren't into you as much as you are : This is hard truth sometimes you aren't their priority. Maybe it can be wrong  time in their life. They are just not that much into you. You can't please everyone. Sometimes people would not like someone for irrational reasons. You weren't tall enough, you remind them of their ex....etc. There can be many reasons.

6. Don't take it personally : It can feel heart breaking when anyone doesn't see you same as you see them to be. Sometimes you hit it and both are same wavelength and later it fizzles off. They realise something about you wasn't their value. They think they wouldn't fit in your world. You both are in different worlds. It is best to do as much to keep in touch but be detached  to outcome. 



So a big Congratulations after the endless night of trying or rather easily you are super excited that you are going to have your first child. Perhaps you are little late damage is already done. I guess this is an article to read even before that. I am going to be brutally honest and I wish someone was to me. However just like people do not tell you truth of marriage nobody is really telling you how it is.

1. Babies and Children are cute as long as they are of others. : It is a ploy! All nature's ploy to make babies so cute. Women having their biological clocks ticking. Babies are so cute how can you resist them. You would love to have your oneself. Like a toy you saw at the supermarket only catch is you would not be able to return it to anyone if baby is yours.


2. Every parent is a perfect parent until they become one:  You would be scared to have this tiny creature who is totally dependent in you. You would have self doubt and on top of it you would have many advices from all the different sources. Never to take an advice from someone who hasn't had a child or who hasn't had it for a while. They are either inexperienced or too rusty.

3. It hurts a lot whether you are men or women :  Ofcourse women knows giving birth is painful to experience and yes there are medication but nobody tells you about pain after you have given birth. It hurts for a very long time even after giving birth depending on how good or bad your birth are. Your body has taken it's toll and it changes dramatically never looking back as you once had.You might think I am men I would be ok. Yes, when you carry your baby you do get kicked in your balls quiet a bit. It is hard to watch your partner suffer and it can scar men for life.


4. You deal with lot of shit :  When I started this blog and name came about becuase amount of shit I was dealing of my baby literally. It felt that's all I was doing while taking care of my baby. You are constantly dealing with poo, wee, cough, vomit,etc. Babies and Toddlers are violent creatures too. They kick, they hit and they scream and they shout. They are stubborn. You have to be calm in all this and that is a hard act to follow.

5. Two parents aren't enough: Even though it might seem that your parents mother and father bought you up just fine. I admire single mums and I also admire people who have more than one child. Two parents are just not enough to take care of a child as you would be sleep deprived for very long time and taking care of  your child constantly.  It takes a village to bring up a child however now as grandparents are living far or more and more us living in a smaller families it is difficult to find support which you require to raise a child.

6. Childcare can be extremely expensive: You wouldn't even trust anyone in the beginning to leave your child with anyone who provides childcare after scare of child abuse and child pronography. When you would finally trust you would realize it is extremely expensive. Even when you would start using them you would feel guilty whether you are spending enough time with your child.

7. You do not have life of your own : Unless you make it a point to create one.  Every waking minute your needs are put at back burner to put your child's need at first. Even if you are little selfish enough to take care of your needs you would always feel guilty. You keep worrying and you start talking about how your child has done something. Your thoughts are also about him.


8. You would be afraid of change and to take chances in life : It is no longer when you were young, single and free you could take your self anywhere without care or worry. Every decision to leave your child for a night, a day or fortnight has to be planned. You would be taking less challenges and wouldn't be willing to change your life dramatically as quick as possible. Your life would become routine because of your children. You would be afraid of minor to small changes which disrupt your life. Spontanity and quick decisions would soon be gone.


9. All your decisions will be damn if you do, damn if you don't :  So whether you should breastfeed or not, whether you should let them watch TV or not, whether you should let them sleep with you or not. There are no right or wrong answers. As there are really no parameters to figure out if you are good parent or not. However each of your decision would be questioned, criticized or make you wonder whether what you are doing is right or wrong.

10 It is thankless job : Nobody is going to pat you on your back or give you money for raising your own child. It is unpaid job with psychological, emotional and physically draining experience. It is like days going doing nothing but it goes very fast as well. The only thing is while you wait for your child to become 18 you are going to get old too.


Bonus: So why do it at all. Sorry if I have painted the bleak picture. I do not want to leave with what all parents say " It is extremely rewarding": That is biggest bull shit.
Truth is it is lot of hardwork and pain.

I guess most people do it because they are naive of work needed or shit going to be thrown at them. Some people can swim with same amount of problem while other can sink.

You are damned by nature it is what we do. Have children as it seems a logical thing to do after marriage. It is also sign of maturity and responsibility. I guess we do it for GROWTH.


P.S: Photo is of me and my son. It looks as if he is puking at me or I might look unhappy or stressed but I am happy cleaning his hands  ( it is my favourite thing to do ) and it also real picture of motherhood according to me.

Previous PostOlder Posts Home