7 Ways to know if relationship is just a "Fling" ? Before having and After having Sex Included ;-)

"How to know if a relationship is just a Fling?"

This is a question that was asked to me when I was in a restaurant with other 3 Women and we were just discussing relationships.  This question has come again to me.

Their question was even harder then they wanted to know how can we know even before having sex? As these women didn't want to be a disappointing morning after sex.


I am going to write this article Before having Sex and After Sex.

If sex or your virginity is important to you.

Before Having Sex: 

1. Where are you? : Are you in a Club dancing, Summer Holiday, Christmas Office Party, Nude Beach, University Campus, etc. Are you meeting someone on Tinder? ;-) Where you meet someone is important as there are places where having sex or being touchy-feely is sort of permitted or expected? Where booze and alcohol are flowing and it is just natural for people to have casual sex or get flirty.

2. Is it just hugely Physical? Intellectual? Personality?: They are coming on really strong physically and they basically would hit whatever moves. Or Whether they are genuinely interested. Do they have roaming eyes for others in the room when you are away? All they are interested to talk about their or your physical attributes.

3. Are you attracted to them enough?: Why are you there? Are you there because you are lonely or had nothing to do on Saturday night and you tagged along with your friends. Your person of interest are you interested in them? Would you be attracted to them in different circumstances like less drunk, less lonely or desperate? Are you attracted to them in how they look, how they talk, how they dress,etc? or their personality, their abilities, and their dreams.

4. Prolong your relationship:  If you are meeting online or in-person - Is your talk more about sex and very focussed on telling you how many times they masturbate or they are really naughty who needs whipping? If you were a booty call and you weren't satisfying them they would probably look for somebody. You might come across as a "tease" but better safe than sorry.

5. Can you say "No"?: Nothing is sometimes more attractive than saying NO. Would they be ok just hand-holding and just giving you a hug or a kiss. If you aren't feeling it and if you got up while having sex would they be ok. Are you feeling pressurized or able to tell them how it is?

6. Do you trust them enough to know they are clean? :  It would be impossible to know whether they have any disease but are you both ok to have sex with condoms. Your health is important and it would be impossible to know whether someone doesn't have any disease unless they bought their HIV negative Certificate. Do bring it up as a joke or humor and see how they react.

7. Is this the person with whom you don't mind losing your virginity or having sex? : This is the most important million dollar question.  Risk is- It can still all be a big drama for someone to get inside your pants or even if you had a short term relationship once you had sex your situationship is over. What do you do? You can do nothing but you needed to ask this question that is the person with whom you don't mind losing your virginity or having sex and remembering just like that.



After having Sex 

Some Men and Women find it useful to know that they are sexually compatible. To have sex in a relationship or even start with strong sex-focused doesn't always mean it is a fling. Because fling can sometimes turn into a relationship. Some of these answers are the same as Before having Sex.


1. Are they attracted to you enough? : Do they just see you as a  dead - meat or they are genuinely concerned about you? Are they attracted to you in different ways? Physically, Mentally, Spiritually and Intellectually.

2. How do you both communicate:  Do they ghost you or breadcrumb you? Or you do the same thing?
Or you talk to him when you are bored and lonely? You are talking to lots of different other suitors?
Is this person for you an option or "the one"? Do you both talk about the good, bad and worse? Are you both vulnerable open and honest?

3. Are they available?: This one is common sense! but sometimes so lost. People are sometimes in a relationship with a person- when they have a mistress... and mistress can be wife, partner, career, work or money, emotionally unavailable person, etc. To be in a relationship involves a person to have an open heart and time availability.

4. Do they respect you?: Are they honest enough to tell you how they feel? Do they respect you and cherish your company rather than complaining? They are sort of proud of who you are.

5. Are you in a relationship like you want? :  In this modern world, a relationship can take many different shapes? Some are with benefits ;-). Some are rebound. Some are long-distance, Some are based on sex, Some are based on money, Some are just something on side, etc. Do you both like the shape your relationship taking place? Do you spend enough time with each other? Are you always complaining about what can't be changed?

6. Do you both have the same values?: Are you Republican and he is Democratic? He is Soccer Fan and you are Baseball Fan? Do you like Marmite or Peanut Jelly Butter? You get my drift....
Can you tolerate those differences? You don't have to be what they are but can you both agree to disagree.

The next one is very important for a successful relationship.

7. Do they inspire you and support your dreams?: Life is a journey in which you can go alone faster but when you are getting a company you are planning to go further. You are looking for a partner who is as chuffed as you are for all the things you do, want to do or achieve. When you have a conversation of your dreams they aren't there always there to bust your bubble but to help you to achieve those dreams along with you.

BONUS

8. Do you see the future with them?: I am not talking about on the first date you want to have someone's million kids or get married. But marriage and kids sort of conversation just happens naturally and without anyone being scared. It should never be problematic thinking of  " What kind of Car or House they would like ?","What kind of wedding you would like?"," Whether someone would be good as a Father or Mother, etc?"