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Real Cost of having and following a Dream !

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Too many times we are advised by society to Follow our Dream, Dare to Dream, Dream Big and even fight for your Dreams. Having Dreams is most wonderful thing as someone who was repressed to have any until I was in my mid 20s. Maybe it was Quater Life Crisis. It definitely was !

I had been so busy looking at bright and sunny side of Dream that I have really not  thought about cost of it as it is so easy to be idealistic and "wing it"? So last 2 years I took good time to calculate cost of it all.

It came up with all those things to go from Point A and Point B. How do you go?
You build a bridge. You wonder how much does it cost to make a bridge. How many man hours? How much time ?  How much money ?

BUT that is just materialistic cost. The real costs are not even tangible.

Perhaps few bumps doesn't matter during journey because perhaps Destination and Journey both are important and integral part of my life.

I thought they were just trade-offs.
When we sacrifice one thing to obtain another, that's called a trade-off.  For example, Only have enough cash to buy a bike or a snowboard, but not both?  That's a trade-off.  Trying to decide whether to take the Christmas off to spend with your family, or to go to work and make extra overtime?  That's a trade-off.

I did not realize I was making some huge sacrifices.

Word " Sacrifice" comes and I go pfft. What's that ?
I do sacrifice but I never really think anything as sacrifice. I have never really thought about it that way until very recently it was bought to my attention. This time I paid attention.  REAL ATTENTION !

Real Cost of having and following a Dream ! 

You need Sweat, Blood and Tears to fulfil your dreams. Challenges are tremendous with mental, emotional, physical and financial. Some of the ones really caught me off guard are :

Difficulty believing in your own Dream : Who me ? yes you ? One of the hardest thing is to believe in your own dream. Without getting too religious, Evan Almighty aka Noah was asked to built ark so that he can save animals and world I suppose. He ignored it in the beginning and he didn't even wanted to built an ark. He didn't believe it himself, he was happy doing his job.

Embarrassment of just not being your Previous Self : You are changed person you are the person who has been really hit by lightening bolt, a Dream or Purpose and people around you still expect the same of you. It is like you have bitten by this madness which nobody understand or even sees but it is in your heart and head.

Odd one in room : We somehow feel closer to people who are like us, who are similar to us, what class they are, how much money they make. They make us comfortable and secure. I wonder whether I was born to make people secure or to expand them. I take latter one any day.

We as human beings need to pull each other
so we can be stars rather than perfect circles.

Embarrassment of Being Laughed for your own beliefs : Every choice, every decision and every thing you do in your life suddenly seems to be guided because of your dream. It sometimes even becomes your identity. Being laughed off for your own beliefs is actually very sad. To be not approved is worse thing as somehow we are wired to seek others approval. It is once again very primal to get approval so whatever we stand for is suddenly when is disapprove by our group seems to put us in very vulnerable position.

Ability not to take along your old friends and family on journey : First thing I ask that just because I as a person has changed can I realistically expect everybody around me to change. I would think that is selfish , to put that pressure on somebody to be like me.  It is more or less father saying to his son since I was a Doctor or Engineer you need  to do the same. Not all are designed or capable to be doing same. However sometimes this kindness can be seen of not expecting others to also change as being selfish and only thinking of myself.

Being treated differently, sometime even unfairly :  Who me ? Sacrifice. I wouldn't think I was capable of sacrificing as I had been called selfish and mean. In some way it is but I also know that if I wasn't responsible for my life and choices that I made, these are the same people who aren't going to come and fix my life. OR had remotely any plans to make it better. Sometimes to make their small minded world which doesn't collapse or change I had to fit in.

Getting comfortable in New You : Truth is in many occasions I try my best to "fit in " however voice of "New ME " was too powerful to ignore. It is suffocating and losing your own voice is worst thing can ever happen.

Facing your own fears + everyone else's: It is bad enough to have that nagging voice which challenges and say how can you ? and having all these fears but some people really know how to make even getting out of door difficult.For me it isn't  #FOMO   Fear of Missing Out but a genuine need to live authentically.

Alienate people either who makes us remember our Previous Self , who resits our New version or are just downright negative:  Not everyone who can remind our past self has malice some are extremely helpful to keep us grounded positively and some not so much.This one is most difficult when you are going through massive change and there are obstacles created by people who hold on to or think that we are bound to them or we are expected to behave in certain way. You own it to them and truth is no one does.Sometimes these are really  the people who are very closed ones and for your own sanity one needs to alienate those people. They say sometimes people do not understand and one should explain. The problem arises when people aren't listening despite explained.

Frustration on Communication : Words should be enough and sometimes they aren't enough. You make choices and there is absolutely no logical explanation for it. Sometimes you just want people to be able to see what's in our head so that what we feel so strongly doesn't have to loose their value by using words.

Being Practical can seem Negative : Many people are not looking for pragmatic advice as Dreamers already know what  they shouldn't do or why something can't be done. There are million of reasons and some people out of care and concern give practical and sometimes not so positive advice. However it is difficult not to take it negatively.

Bad Authority Figures: Parents who can't answer their kids question are better off to just say "I don't know" rather than pretending having full grasp of something.People who think they know and pretend to know when they really don't create more confusion than clarity.

Feel Terrible,Guilty or Shame for just being ourselves: It is terrible feeling when you aren't accepted just the way you are.Some people would make sure you feel terrible, guilty and shame for your choices.

Managing Insecurity of other people :  When people who do not know how to support, stupidly try to do everything you are planning to do or have done so that they feel worthy of your love and admiration which is in some case completely unnecessary and sometimes necessary. The real reason one should do anything was because they wanted to because they were excited.

 Many times we see other people really successful, happy and fulfilled and realize we aren't doing what we are supposed to. The biggest truth all is it is not about YOU. It is about person who has succeeded after all the obstacles they had. It is about their achievement not a comparison contest.

Not being able to discern and lumping everyone as same : Finding your own tribe, fan and supporters take time and really one has to be patient doing that however it is also important that one doesn't go through where person think everyone is being negative. When you hear too much negativity even positive comments sounding negative. You question whether they are genuine or heartfelt.

So when everybody is just telling each other how fantastic they are, sometimes some people take it especially negatively and they think they really need to keep up or have to be like next person. True friendships are with people who know that they can be simple and their complex friends would still appreciate you. So it is easy when people have seen lots of competition and show off  to think everybody is trying to put them down.

These are the same people who enjoy yes they ENJOY in making other people feel shit. or they have met people like that and they thus think that everybody is like that.

Dealing with jealousy and envy : In some doses competition might be healthy. Sometimes jealousy and envy  among not strangers but most dear and closed ones left me confused. For me definition of closed one was people who are there in your highs and lows. It is interesting when people in high do not want to be in lows and people in lows sometime didn't wanted to see highs.It goes both ways. Even though people think that people are only interested in Highs and that's not true.

Loneliness: Perhaps this is the saddest one. I was once told it is lonely in the top. I don't believe it is all the time but as much as one is close to God or their higher self, there are times one purposely has to spend lot of time alone or a habit gets created that you start spending time in isolation just to clear out all the noise.

Giving up : Failure and disappointments are part of life. However some dreams despite when you have fought for it you realize that they are never going to come true or you no longer have any further energy to give.You just realize that dream and reality gap is so big that it would never fill up and you would be able to make it happen.

Coping with Transition time : Between finding your true calling or hit by lightning bolt or whatever you call when you have dream to finding people who would surely appreciate in your true nature and ideas. Finding those kind people is once again hit and miss.

Having faith even when shit hits the fan : Meeting people who would support would only come after you have shown immense faith in your dreams. It is sort of to test of your faith.Unfortunately here it isn't see it and believe it but

Believe it and you would surely See it.

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