I was once told that you meet people for  " reason, season and lifetime" when I was heartbroken as I had to leave.Been on both the sides of scale heart broken and heart breaker I feel this might be a rough guideline to just have realistic healthy relationship.

Know Thyself : It is so much important to be knowing our true self.
It involves knowing oneself : Do you like what you see?
What are your needs ? What are you willing to give/sacrifice? What are your limits without being doormat or pushover.

But problem arise when we do not have time to ponder in such powerful questions. Unlike in India where isolation is encouraged for self awareness. Western Culture advises discourage isolation of any form. Only recently meditation and mindfulness has been encouraged and even that is looked down by skeptics.

Ask yourself whether you want Relationship in question : There are few relationship which just get pushed on you " We are related because we are born in some family" or "We are related to somebody" or some stupid norm expects us to have that relationship.


Relationship Name : I am sure some relationships just fit into easily which are governed by society roles. Whereas some are when people say " It is complicated " what they really mean and that is far simple that they just don't know where relationship is or where they want to go with it.
Do you need to name it ? Maybe Name it and Shame it or sometime those synergies are better left as they are. Sometimes there are people in our life placed and maybe they are Duds or Aces depending on time you see them.

Relationship Values: Despite we all think everybody is similar and at the end we all want love, happiness and peace but how we achieve this is very different. It is very essential that are values somehow match or we are at least able to respect each other values.

Relationship Vision / Shared Vision : Most times  relationship which has gone bad or fizzle out needs a vision or shared vision. Sometimes those vision comes naturally and other times it is far difficult. Even if they are there might not be enough trust to carry out those visions.


Relationship Expectations / Negotiations : Sometimes I have been baffled with some people expectation and when I have expected same they have washed their hands and walk away.  However most annoying is when people say we expect moon and stars. We want you to jump every time and you should say " How high?" and if I was going to ask same of them they wouldn't. I am really cool not to have any expectations provided if people do not expect things from me. Sometimes they do not understand " I do not expect " from people I know who aren't capable of.

Relationship Environment : Sometimes some people including myself have done very little to make person comfortable and have asked for more. Respecting their values, culture, their lifestyle, the things they take pride in and so forth is a huge priority. Perhaps we haven't given space to be rather than we have tried to change and force our ideals.

Relationship Illusion / Disillusion Time : Some relationship really start with good intentions however reality and circumstances aren't always kind. As above Mac Burger does really look like that when taken care,under right light and in a studio with careful hands but not when it is served on McDonald while it has been just tossed around by not so clean hands.

However it is essential for a person to dream and have those illusion , goals or dreams or we wouldn't even start our work. However Reality do disillusion us and tells us when things aren't going right.

Relationship v/s Personal Boundaries : If one thing I have ever learnt from all relationship is you tell people how you want to be loved and respected in any relationship . As even though it might not feel that you have say but "ball is always in your court"

Sometimes we do not know what our personal boundaries or limitations are. One of the hard thing to do is be honest about those limitation to ourselves. Even harder than that is to communicate to others your limitation. What something is acceptable may not be acceptable to others. What is acceptable to us may not be acceptable to them.

Manage Mis-managed Expectation : That comes to next point is manage expectations. Even though this is about marriage and family this video  is great about having realistic expectation both of yours and other people who are involved in relationship.



Relationship Vision Communication : Some people want to communicate all the time whereas some people are happy communicating in 1  burst of energy. Some relationships are ok after talking daily, weekly,3 Months, 6 Months, 2 years, 10 years as really not much has changed. However more important is to communicate that shared vision of long term or even short term. We all communicate so differently too. Some people just love to meet face to face, Skype or hear somebody's voice and some would just hate doing that. Same person want to communicate differently with different people as they realize where you stand in their social circle.

People Change Can Relationship Change :  Most of the time we are really not good at looking at other people in a new light. Why ? Please look at this video. Sorry this video isn't in English but really funny !!!
1)  We are supposed to maintain our old roles and old characters.
2)  We are always behind/ ahead of somebody if we compare on different parts of our life and when we change people around us get unsettled as somehow we kind of moved their social structure.
3) Sometimes we are already ticking like a time bomb just raring to go/explode.

True relationships or perhaps lasting relationship somehow go through changes and people in relationship still come out strong.
There is no shame if they do not as long as there  is peace in knowing that we are 2 parallel lines which path would never cross.

Sweet Spot of Relationship :  You are whole and when one has done all the work in themselves
been comfortable with themselves and only then they are really ready for being in that sweet spot of relationship.

Firstly this generation means Millennials. Millennials (also known as the Millennial Generation or Generation Y) are the demographic cohort following Generation X. There are no precise dates when the generation starts and ends; most researchers and commentators use birth years ranging from the early 1980s to the early 2000s.

I love being Millennial. Reason being we are simply cool ! 

We think about #YOLO and #selfies but at the same time we are pioneers in living a different world. 


Globalization v/s Nationalist  :  With cheap flights , internet and Skype being dirt cheap we can communicate with anyone within seconds. We are not only buying Chinese socks and German cars but we are also going to Beer Fest and knowing what is our Chinese Animal Sign.  While our previous generation had seen wars and cold wars we are real peacekeepers and understand bigger problems which are terrorist , environment, poverty,etc. which are no longer only one country problem.


Culture Exchange : Through easy movement of people, from our previous generation we are open to culture exchange and cross cultural exchange despite it does create lots of problems of it's own. It is indeed common to have different viewpoints and several point of views on same subject.

Collaboration at work place :   It is very common that people from different culture, race and gender work together hand in hand in various different work industry whether it is science, education, technology or medical. The collaboration helps to solve several problems.

Greater Understanding and Empathy : Due to proximity in distance and also intellectually it has made it possible for everyone to understand each other's perspective, position or circumstances.  Internet helps us to debate, argue, rectify and come to good conclusion about past. Sometimes there has been heinous and most tragic incidence has happened. Despite our generation hasn't incurred or witnessed this there is definitely associated guilt and associated pain.

Cross Cultural Friends and Families :  It is no longer understanding a person from another foreign country in far far land. There is a greater understanding as people who come from foreign country sometimes are the ones your friends and families whom you are married or spending most of your time with.

Identity Crisis : With so much connectivity and information there is a problem of identity crisis. How much do you adapt or not adapt in this diversity while being good human or good global citizen?  

Era of Social Media :  Our previous generations got their information on TV and told them what to think or who you are. Current generation is - let me tell you who I am and we have several ways to inform people about our opinions and our views whether it is social media,etc...etc... When our last generation thought that same knowledge and opportunities aren't given to everyone today with helps of google and facebook more open and easy communication has been among everybody.  

Greater Understanding leads to Greater Soul Searching : When our last generation celebrated war heroes. Our current and next generations would celebrate social entrepreneurs, philanthropist and peacekeepers. Our generation has been looking ways in which social justice is at forefront as there is in some ways understanding of previous mistakes.