Devika

For World Problems - My Views,My Opinions and My Solutions
Showing posts with label Happy Endings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Happy Endings. Show all posts
1. Know or Judge what the other person needs: One of the key things to look at, if one doesn't become needy and clingy in the initial phase, is to be aware of how much you and your potential partner want to spend time together. That means having some sort of conversation directly or gradually observing your other half. Different people are different in terms of how much time they want to spend time together. It depends also lot on knowing where your relationship might be heading. Are you just a casual friend whom you are happy seeing once every 3 months? Are you more of a girlfriend and boyfriend who would like to spend time together initially to get to know each other? 

2. Know that your relationship will change:  Relationships can be like waves. Somebody would need more emotional support when they had a bad day at work, somebody died, got laid off, etc. While some people would like to spend more time when the crisis hits. Some would rather spend time alone. Relationships in the beginning can be like every waking moment I want to be with you to ok we have some trust and we are ok being a bit separate. Always see what other people want and listen to their needs.

3. Have a hobby, friends and life without that person:  It is very easy not to put someone on a pedestal if you have hit right off especially when you think that this person might be the One. Have a life without that person. Go for dinner or lunches alone or even in the Cinema. Yes alone. It might be boring but enjoying your own company is crucial. If you can't bear yourself how would others do? Also have different people in your life like friends, mentors, therapists, coaches and parents. Avoid one person to be everything of you. As you would be highly disappointed when you realise they aren't that great. It would also be very exhausting for them to be all of the people you need. 

4. Do not expect instant gratification:  People are busy despite it hardly takes a few minutes to answer a text. Some people find it very difficult to write a few things and sometimes get paralysed while communicating on apps, Twitter or Facebook. Wait for sufficient time before communicating again. Have a maximum number before you contact them. 

5. They aren't into you as much as you are: This is a hard truth sometimes you aren't their priority. Maybe it can be the wrong time in their life. They are just not that much into you. You can't please everyone. Sometimes people would not like someone for irrational reasons. You weren't tall enough, you reminded them of their ex....etc. There can be many reasons.

6. Don't take it personally: It can feel heartbreaking when anyone doesn't see you the same as you see them to be. Sometimes you hit it and both are the same wavelength and later it fizzles off. They realise something about you wasn't their value. They think they wouldn't fit in your world. You both are in different worlds. It is best to do as much to keep in touch but be detached from the outcome. 

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Right, so I am not talking about "Happy Endings! " like -  When a masseuse feels inclined to finish your session w/ oral sex or manual release (usually for an extra twenty dollars)


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I mean " Happy Ending" which every man and woman wants - one like Movies.
They finally walk towards sunset or get married.
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The problem is, they are great stories of falling in love despite differences, odds, the chase, the problems, and finally conquering them and finding the "one". It is a great fantasy !!!

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Like the movie" Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani "
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yeh_Jawaani_Hai_Deewani

If you watch carefully, there are 2 love stories.

1. Naina and Bunny
2. Aditi and  Avi

Even though Naina and Bunny seem to be the protagonists and overwhelmed in the movie. There was also a Love Story, which had a different ending between Aditi and Avi.

Or
Movies like Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kabhi_Alvida_Naa_Kehna
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It is an interesting story of 2 couples who are really unhappy with their marriage. Really unhappy, and they know it. Things they say to each other are nasty. Dev and Maya fall in love and afterwards have an affair. However, despite their heart aching for each other. After 3 long hours of a movie, there is no way that Dev and Maya would know whether they are even compatible or what it is to live with each other on a daily basis. More on marriage here Marriage Material 

Because marriage, as an institution, despite seeming very simple, is complicated. Relationships formed are complicated, and very few people know how to spend the rest of their lives with someone. Maybe that is why Marriage Anniversaries become more important. However, of course, whether Anniversaries are a great way to quantify the quality of the relationship between husband and wife is debatable.  I am still exploring, and my ideas of marriage and it has always made me curious " Why marriages end up in Divorces? "

The following video would make you think more about marriage and the person you ultimately marry.
Traditional Marriage v/s  Romantic or Love Marriages. People thought Love Marriage was an answer, and we are still left with some of the bigger questions which are asked by this video.


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Sometimes Love Stories are tragic, like Romeo/ Juliet, Titanic, Rose and Jack, etc., and thus Memorable. Hollywood/ Bollywood, Novels, TV give us plenty of love stories, but clearly no guidance on what to do when we have got the one. Because when have we got the one

We soon realize is that it ? Does life have only this to offer me ?

Like things in life - We are born, we  go to school, then university , get a job, find somebody to love, and have a few children.
The question always remains, is that it ? Does life have anything more to offer?



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I never understood why Film Notebook was so popular ( I kept on thinking notebook computer...lol... )
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Notebook_(2004_film)
until very recently, when I saw what happened to Allison. She transformed in the company of Noah to be the carefree woman she always was.  I feel that every person who marries and decides to live with someone goes through a major transformation. Perhaps somewhere we need to hold on to being who we truly are whilst this major transformation and responsibility thing happens.

Unless one has

1) Real purpose in their life and bring the best not only in themselves but in their partner too

2) The ability to make the best of it every day and not take a partner for granted is hard work for both Men and Women.

However, the question is always whether ONE person can be the whole world? Is it even fair to expect one person to become their whole world and expect one person to fulfil all their needs? Would it be right to be so possessive or to expect so much ?

Thus, I feel sometimes Happy Endings can become Sour Beginnings ! If you or your partner is not appreciated. Thus, Happy Loving !

I am loving it ! - Hope not as McDonald's Fast Food, but hope we can enjoy marriage as much as our Favorite Fast Food.
Hope your The End is a new beginning of a long, slow journey ahead.


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