1. Know or Judge what the other person needs: One of the key things to look at, if one doesn't become needy and clingy in the initial phase, is to be aware of how much you and your potential partner want to spend time together. That means having some sort of conversation directly or gradually observing your other half. Different people are different in terms of how much time they want to spend time together. It depends also lot on knowing where your relationship might be heading. Are you just a casual friend whom you are happy seeing once every 3 months? Are you more of a girlfriend and boyfriend who would like to spend time together initially to get to know each other? 

2. Know that your relationship will change:  Relationships can be like waves. Somebody would need more emotional support when they had a bad day at work, somebody died, got laid off, etc. While some people would like to spend more time when the crisis hits. Some would rather spend time alone. Relationships in the beginning can be like every waking moment I want to be with you to ok we have some trust and we are ok being a bit separate. Always see what other people want and listen to their needs.

3. Have a hobby, friends and life without that person:  It is very easy not to put someone on a pedestal if you have hit right off especially when you think that this person might be the One. Have a life without that person. Go for dinner or lunches alone or even in the Cinema. Yes alone. It might be boring but enjoying your own company is crucial. If you can't bear yourself how would others do? Also have different people in your life like friends, mentors, therapists, coaches and parents. Avoid one person to be everything of you. As you would be highly disappointed when you realise they aren't that great. It would also be very exhausting for them to be all of the people you need. 

4. Do not expect instant gratification:  People are busy despite it hardly takes a few minutes to answer a text. Some people find it very difficult to write a few things and sometimes get paralysed while communicating on apps, Twitter or Facebook. Wait for sufficient time before communicating again. Have a maximum number before you contact them. 

5. They aren't into you as much as you are: This is a hard truth sometimes you aren't their priority. Maybe it can be the wrong time in their life. They are just not that much into you. You can't please everyone. Sometimes people would not like someone for irrational reasons. You weren't tall enough, you reminded them of their ex....etc. There can be many reasons.

6. Don't take it personally: It can feel heartbreaking when anyone doesn't see you the same as you see them to be. Sometimes you hit it and both are the same wavelength and later it fizzles off. They realise something about you wasn't their value. They think they wouldn't fit in your world. You both are in different worlds. It is best to do as much to keep in touch but be detached from the outcome. 

I was saving this I didn't wanted to write but just mere frustration of how big this problem IS and is so rampant that I am going to write about this.

So Men who says " She is a Gold Digger " perhaps need to check how much Gold they really have lately. I can bet you they have NONE.

It might be convenient to say " She is Gold Digger"  that when real reason of actually facing the TRUTH which lurks behind all that bravado. When you really scratch the surface and there is lot more going on and then what meets the eye.

Not Knowing what they want out of life :  Well to be honest it is ok not to know whether you want to get married or not, whether you want to just have emotional or only physical relationship with someone. If you are unavailable and aren't entirely sure than instead of doing decent thing to just break up or make it easy for women to move on. Men who don't know what they want would try to do everything to drive women mad so that she can get out of their life.

They just want to enjoy life or fantasy of having several women with no real prospects : It is ok if you are a Player honestly but tell women before hand so that she exactly know where she is with you. It would save everyone lot of grief.

Fear of being used : I think Women should have more of this then Men. Women should not only fear men "who just wants to have sex". I guess it is more dangerous to find Men who like to erode women's self worth. Women gets screwed and she doesn't even know it.

Stop using Women : I have found Men who really actually want to get money out of women or are unable to take care of them are first one who would jump and say "Women needs money". You might be really using and abusing women financially, emotionally making her emotional pillow,intellectually etc. etc. Some men get into relationship or marriage so they can use and exploit Women.Sometimes this is so ingrained in Men's brain that they do not realize they are abusing women.

Fear of Intimacy :  Even if they did have gold then they do not think WORTHY of someone's love. It is worse than not having Gold! Being hurt is really difficult and it isn't easy and some Men rather than having feelings or emotions they think money is answer to all.

Conflicted between High Ideals and Reality : Men who want to take care of women financially are "cute ". However they forget that reality might be they barely making their ends meet and some men go to great lengths of promising false things like " I would take care of you" and " I want to bring your dreams come true" . Women would rather be happy to know that they aren't really that well to do rather than making women feel that her wants are wrong.  It is wrong for Women to expect Men to fulfill it however it isn't wrong for Women to have needs and dreams. 

Stop whore -ifying people :  It isn't a market place of Men buying Women. It used to be but it really isn't. Both Men and Women have equal power. or Women buying Men  However to think that Men brings money and Women brings Sex or Household Chores is just very traditional and wrong thinking. Exchange of Money and sex despite being a premise which creates probably should be discussed beforehand.

High Standards: I could start this topic by saying " BEWARE OF GOLD DIGGERS" but truth is we all want something or other from each other and in some odd way we are fulfilling each other
some need. If we didn't have need we might as well live on an island. Sometimes it can be of just not feeling lonely, learning, respect, youth, care companionship, friendship, love,money and sex, etc...I guess Money and Sex get bad rep but also because it is tangible whereas  everything else is intangible. So if a Men or Women have High standards and other party can't fulfill it then that is that.
Some people are happy to provide and some aren't. Some are ok to be used and abused and some aren't.

High Odds : Some relationship just have too many problems, fears, discomfort, differences, circumstantial internal and external. It is best to just realize and accept limitations of actual relationship. Instead of blaming each other it is in evident that somethings didn't happen because of circumstances or people are just too different. 

If something is meant to happen, it would happen no matter what. 

If something isn't meant to happen then it wouldn't happen no matter how much one tries. 

Most Women don't need Men.

In the age of high income, vibrators, porn,sperm donors and male strippers. Women really doesn't need MEN to provide for her financially and also not in other ways. 

Perhaps that is why I know Women who marry to somebody who doesn't have much money but they can be in relationship /marriage rather than getting married to Millionaires who keep knocking their doors.

It is a myth that only Men go through a heavy loss on their money while getting married.

Women sacrifices lots of freedom, time, energy and money on Men who do not necessarily deserve it.Only recently Men has taken any interest in raising children. 

However only difference is when Men go and earn, when he trades his time for money, He takes care of his time he is called Bread Winner.

When Women takes care of her time so that she can earn she is seen as Slut or Whore. Some societies expect Women to not work. Some expect her to earn and plus do all the extras. Take care of children, In Laws, be good cook, chef , cleaner and maid apart from good Wife and Mother. 

When women let you take care of her, it is a privilege women give to men.
No matter how much you complaint deep down Men know this is truth.

So Good question is What do Women Really Want ? Why would she ever be with ME?

Most men think what is Women bringing to table. 

Only if Women were that as logical as Men. Women are learning to do that too.Purely because they are forced to do that ! 

Woman value who you are as Man,perhaps lot more than you do yourself.

If only you could see yourself from her eyes. Most Woman for that one initial feeling

and one right intuition would do everything. If you have found somebody like that treasure it.

Guys out there who think Can I replicate it love " No, you can't".

Men who questions What does Women want ?  and have scratched their brains for centuries but truth is it isn't that logical. 

One can't make someone love another. It happens and rest is history !
It is an alchemy of things coming together.

This is my request to Men and Women ! Yes Request and not Advice or Order.

If you do not want to take care of Women then don't, just say it out front and be honest. There is no need to lie. Perhaps it would hurt your ego just a little bit but just do it. 

Same for Women just be honest, if you want to be taken care then that is that.
Now whether men thinks he should or would like to or not, it is up to him.


Okay, so you finally snagged the girl you were dreaming of. Now what do you do with her?
If you’re at the kissing stage, make sure you are ready—clean, fresh breath, all of that.
If you’re at the relationship stage, make sure you know how to be a good boyfriend.
If things get serious, make sure you know how to have a healthy relationship.
Going through the trouble of making a girl crazy about you only to let her down when things get interesting is enough to make a girl plain crazy!

It happens to Men too exactly same thing when women isn't ready to do things necessary for relationship, she shouldn't lead the man on.

If you’re at the kissing stage, make sure you are ready—clean, fresh breath, all of that.

If you're at the relationship stage, make sure you know how to be a good girlfriend. 

If things get serious, make sure you know how to have a healthy relationship.

If things get serious, make sure you know how to have a healthy relationship.
Going through the trouble of making a boy crazy about you only to let him down when things get interesting is enough to make a boy plain crazy!

Top 12 things Property Agents / Property Managers  in Auckland have got it wrong

Property Agents or Property Managers in Auckland are busy people. We empathize with amount of work one Property Agent has to do from putting  advertisement on the internet,  view different  properties, co-ordinate with seller and buyer, negotiate, draw the contracts, close deals, maintain properties, etc.

However nothing really prepares  your Customer for this kind of behavior  and attitude which most Property Agents in Auckland have.

1. No Greeting :  Property Management and Property Agents treat their customer worse than Fast Food Restaurant Customers. At least in Fast Food Restaurant the Customer Service Executive would greet warmly and wait patiently until the  Customer decides on Food.  Simple etiquette of How are you ? Nice to meet you ? Is too much to ask for from the Property Agents.

2. What's in a Name ? : They do not remember your names as long as they remember theirs it is enough. Customer wonders "If you can't remember my name why are you even bothered to show me the property.

3. Viewing with several clients : We understand the property needs to be viewed by several people  and for  Property Agent it is a good solution. The question remains is whether you have asked Customer whether they are ok with Open Houses or not. Some Customers find it intimidating and as an agent you might be missing out on golden opportunity of building  one on one connection and trust during the first few meetings.

4.Open Houses for 10 Minutes: Yes, we understand to save time and money it is better to show property  at once but what is with 10 minutes  on weekday. Have you even considered that  you might be missing out on a potential customer who would love to do business with you if  you understand the m better.

5.Hurried Conversation :  Now how much one can talk to someone in 10 minutes with 4  - 5 different customers . It is already lots for Customers to take in with the new property and  have several questions. Even before  agent have known their name, personal situation , issues and preferences Customer is informed about the next Customer waiting in line . Potential Customers  are handed forms and ask to leave premises.Spend some time to get to know your Customer whether they are first time buyers or first time renters.

6. No Mention about who owns the Property: Yes, as  customer  we want to know who owns the property, whom are we going to sign Contract with? Not because  Customer want to avoid you and not pay for your commission  but to know that you are genuine and information given by you is genuine. Not necessarily you give name or number of owner but you can always talk to customer about the owner.

7. Do not inform  what is the procedure : As a Property Agent , you have not informed apart from giving  form and how much money customer is supposed to give any further details on what is going to happen, when going to happen. What will happen when the customer moves in, what are the things he / she is supposed to do with their electricity, gas, water, etc . Whether the property has electricity or gas? Who is providing those services, what are the numbers to contact them. Make an attempt to know about  customer  and help him /her to envision living in the property

8. Poorly written and confusing forms: The  Forms from  Property Agent Companies  or Property Management Companies have insufficient information. It doesn't have information about property. Sometimes e-mail to contact is wrong on it. Sometimes Form lists wrong numbers of documents needed. If you are asking for Financial Documents  be specific and also ensure that it is safe. What happens with Financial details?  Yes, it might seem strange request to fill up form with Customer but ultimately you are requesting this information. 


9. Bad Memory : As an agent if you have showed Customer property then you should remember it.  If you can not remember it then write it down. Do not expect customer to remember it.  Just as you have many prospective buyers or renters to manager. Customer is also looking  at several property but you as a Property Manager is responsible for that property who walks in and out of the Property.



10. No Follow up : How many times agents have missed the deals because  you have not answered an e-mail or voicemail?   Do not list a property on trademe.co.nz or other websites if it is  rented  or sold already. If you are claiming the property is gone then do not keep for another 1 week. It makes you look dishonest  and you loose respect.



11. Unrealistic Deadlines:  If you had an Open house on say for instance Friday, do not expect  everyone to submit the Forms on same day by 4 pm.  It isn't possible for Customer to have all the documents or might want to Sleep over their decision. Give them enough time but not  too much.  




12. No After Sales  Support : Yes, you do not want customer to come back  for every minor problem but  every customer expects good Sales support. If you have not done your work shoddily in the beginning there would be less hassle after wards. Always ask before you leave whether you can do anything else for your customers.